A Letter to 2022
27th of December 2022
Dear 2022
As I prepare to give you a memorable farewell, I wish to look back at my time spent with you. Through this letter, I invite you to the farewell that I have planned for you as well as communicate to you and retrospect the three sixty five days I spent with you.
You arrived with a basket full of new souls, friendships, hardships, love, grudges and adventures. But as I rushed to unwrap all of these, you held my hand and did not allow me to uncover all of it in the spur of the moment. I was disappointed; I was irked by the fact that you kept all of these things wrapped and housed within the basket. You smiled and said,“Friend, all of these are meant to be opened at the right time. I assure you that you shall look at all of them. I do not promise that all of these will be gifts for you, since the word ‘gift’ implies its own assumptions. I’ll just say that all of these will be new.” I trusted and embraced you. Together, we braced up for everything that was about to happen.
Spring didn’t just encourage the buds to transform into blossoms, it also provided the warmth of joy and that of unconditional love and forgiveness for the places and people, whom I assumed I would never meet for years now. Buildings seemed to bid me adieu as I proudly looked back and reassured that I would be back, not as a student, but as a scientist. The smile that I carried seemed boundless; I was about to explore the world. I knew that my friends would not always be there beside me. I was developing a tougher shell to protect the sensitive soul within me. Every test I took, and every moment I spent, arranging circuits, observing titrations or making slides, I prepared myself to become a part of the scientific community. My dreams were big, but they were infinite, they seemed to be arranged in an arbitrary and haphazard manner. Yet, I tried to fulfil all of them. Summer came, made me feel proud of my accomplishments so far, encouraged me to take various tests and just left.
Monsoon arrived, it was a giant casket of things. The first thing that it ‘gifted’ me was my humble birthday celebration. It was a day filled with laughter, joy, uncertainties and hope. Throughout the rainy period of nature and that of my life, I scorned you for the failures you had showered upon me one after the other. “Can’t you take a pause? Why don’t you just go? Just take your casket and leave. I’m done with this. I want joy now.” I said to you. That’s when I saw a tear in your eye, I saw that you were hurt, I knew that I had said something wrong, but I didn’t apologise. Without a word, you kept looking at me, you did not explain anything. I worked hard, I worked with sincerity as I always did and I had faith that I shall do it; finally, I was nearer to my dream. I took the first step toward it, yet I did not thank you for clearing my path of things which I had assumed to be failures, which never were, my dreams. The Monsoon box was about to finish, but it still had a few things. My smile was transformed into worry, gloom, hopelessness and loss of trust. It was as if a group of people had surrounded me, encircled me, blocked the sunlight and dragged me into the darkness in which they themselves resided. The slogan that resounded was “You too shall be pulled into darkness”. I was terrified, I could not weep for I would look vulnerable; I could not speak because they would not listen. A hand pulled me out, yet the woman whose hand it was, too had to try and protect herself from the darkness. That woman with a beautiful soul and a gentle, yet strong hand, looked into my eyes and assured me that I shall shine bright and that nobody shall stop me. You finally came and said, “That was the giant box. It housed a lot of things for you. Just know that, those with pure hearts and souls shall always be found even when the world seems to be full of souls that aren’t ignited.”
Autumn was a midsized box. You said, “This is your gift. Yes it is, it shall be a bliss for you. Unwrap it fondly.” I smiled and realised that you were right. After the hardships that I had gone through, I received a lot of gifts. Even in circumstances that seemed to store disappointments, events took a turn to transform them into successes. I felt that I was healing, my trust was slowly being regained. Yet, I was cautious. I had started talking, I had started responding. Through all of this, every time I won, I kept all of it within my heart, it was stored within the silent chambers of my soul. Somewhere through this, I felt that I had started achieving not for myself but to prove something to those who had questioned my potential and those who had tried to drag me into darkness. I thought that when they would finally open their eyes to witness where I would have reached, they would regret their actions. But as things proceeded, I was able to rid myself of this thought. I had bigger things to do in life. Did I need to win just for those who never believed in my capability? Maybe no, I had to win for I believed in myself and my ability to reach the pinnacle in whatever I did.
Winter was the smallest box. It was about amplified emotions of happiness, sadness and suddenness. It was about faking emotions even when I did not feel the way I portrayed. It was also about developing resilience toward people and events. It was a roller coaster ride for me. It was about developing new friendships and realising how different but also how similar we are. It was about developing trust in case of misunderstandings, about looking forward to the new year and all the surprises it shall bring for me.
With this, I would like to say a “goodbye” to you. Thank you for bringing me joy and giving me strength. Finally, I apologise for the times when I, without thinking much, judged you in the wrong manner. May you receive letters filled with beautiful emotions and anecdotes from the people whose lives you have touched.
Yours lovingly
Shelley
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