In the Reverse Gear
Image courtesy: JESHOOTS.com on Pexel
Dated: 08-10-22
It was another day to rest, to look out of the window and introspect; but I had to get up early, for I had pledged to take control of my life. Within a span of 30 minutes, I had to be done with a breakfast of muesli and get myself ready for the driving lesson. It was the fifth day of the lesson, like every morning, I looked straight into my eyes as they stared back at me through the mirror; the hope of becoming better at driving each day, heartened me. My tresses had to be tied up, my glasses had to be clean and my face had to bear a confident smile, to assure the teacher that I was ready to take on the challenges that would come my way. I went downstairs, toward the parking lot. I got into the car and recalled every word of appreciation and every word of caution said by my teacher. I wanted to keep these facts in mind in order to drive well. My teacher drove me through the tough stretch, and later allowed me to control the steering wheel. He got out of the car and asked me to drive it round and round in the open space, that too on the reverse gear. I became queasy, the car was all in my control, the teacher no longer sat beside me and in case of any damage to the car, I would be held responsible. I was anxious; but with a smile, I nodded and did everything as he instructed. “Release the handbrake. Change the gear from drive mode to reverse while the foot brake is applied. Keep the brake pressed and release it slowly. If the car refuses to move, accelerate, but don’t accelerate too much. As I have always told you, the car should always be in your control.” he said. The car should be in my control, I reiterated; yes, that was the problem, it was solely in my control. Merely imagining a car going round and round that too on the reverse gear was thrilling. I had been driving well on the roads. I had been gliding through terrains of the hilly area but driving on reverse gear was new for me even if it were on a flat open area void of traffic and constant honking. I changed to reverse gear, applied the brakes and the car slowly moved backwards, the teacher kept saying, “Don’t be hesitant. It’s an open space, you can drive smoothly.” After some time, he stepped into the car and demonstrated the use of the steering wheel for the reverse gear, I was perplexed. For a moment, I felt that I could understand nothing. It was as if, the steering wheel was just being turned round and round, when he asked me to do the same, I just surrendered to the universe to guide me. Since, I didn’t know how to use it, I relied on the comments made by my teacher. “See where the car is going.” When I heard this, I knew that I had to steer towards the side opposite to where I had steered initially. Slowly and steadily I learned to take control of the steering wheel even while I reversed the car; but I needed more practice. I was not done with the challenges yet, so I took on another one. “So, now, I shall drive through the road. You have practised a lot.” said the teacher. “May I drive it on the rough terrain? I want to try it.” I said. The teacher became still for a while, then he agreed, he was glad to see me take on an adventure which he never expected me to. I changed the gear to the drive mode, accelerated and drove uphill, it was a narrow road, although the absence of a fencing intimidated me, I was sure that I would make it. I accelerated and turned the car smoothly on an uphill steep slope.
That day was a spectacular one, I felt brave for I did something that I never felt I was capable of doing. The driving lesson made me confident enough to steer through obstacles, through narrow roads and through tough terrains. My mom’s car by virtue of which, I learned to drive, was and will always remain a friend for me. My car is not just a big machine, she is more than that, she is beautiful. Her friendly eyes (which other people refer to as the headlights) and her big smile where she proudly bears the logo of the manufacturer always invite me to drive through the ups and downs of my life with her.
For us, it is easier to look forward to things, to goals, some achievable, and some, far fetched, it seems smooth. Even for the accomplishment of goals, we have to be patient yet consistent, just like the perfect balance of the brake and the accelerator of the car. But reflecting upon the past, upon the processes and the results that didn’t work as expected is difficult. Looking back does not need to be done at all times. But we must learn how to look back. Do we need to look back and regret? Do we need to look back and feel frightened for the future as well? Do we need to learn to steer through, backwards? We don’t need to look back and regret, the circumstances within and outside might not have been favourable but we navigated through them and that’s why, we are here. We don’t need to fear looking back, yes, we are scared of confronting our deep seated emotions, the grudges, the feelings of hurt and the fear of feeling hurt again but these factors should never stop us from introspecting. We should definitely learn to steer backwards, it may not be easy but it isn’t impossible. The teacher who shall guide us with all this, is the soul, it will not directly be seated with you through your journey, but it will believe in you while guiding you towards your inner self, your past, present and your greater future self.
It was another day to rest, to look out of the window and introspect; but I had to get up early, for I had pledged to take control of my life. Within a span of 30 minutes, I had to be done with a breakfast of muesli and get myself ready for the driving lesson. It was the fifth day of the lesson, like every morning, I looked straight into my eyes as they stared back at me through the mirror; the hope of becoming better at driving each day, heartened me. My tresses had to be tied up, my glasses had to be clean and my face had to bear a confident smile, to assure the teacher that I was ready to take on the challenges that would come my way. I went downstairs, toward the parking lot. I got into the car and recalled every word of appreciation and every word of caution said by my teacher. I wanted to keep these facts in mind in order to drive well. My teacher drove me through the tough stretch, and later allowed me to control the steering wheel. He got out of the car and asked me to drive it round and round in the open space, that too on the reverse gear. I became queasy, the car was all in my control, the teacher no longer sat beside me and in case of any damage to the car, I would be held responsible. I was anxious; but with a smile, I nodded and did everything as he instructed. “Release the handbrake. Change the gear from drive mode to reverse while the foot brake is applied. Keep the brake pressed and release it slowly. If the car refuses to move, accelerate, but don’t accelerate too much. As I have always told you, the car should always be in your control.” he said. The car should be in my control, I reiterated; yes, that was the problem, it was solely in my control. Merely imagining a car going round and round that too on the reverse gear was thrilling. I had been driving well on the roads. I had been gliding through terrains of the hilly area but driving on reverse gear was new for me even if it were on a flat open area void of traffic and constant honking. I changed to reverse gear, applied the brakes and the car slowly moved backwards, the teacher kept saying, “Don’t be hesitant. It’s an open space, you can drive smoothly.” After some time, he stepped into the car and demonstrated the use of the steering wheel for the reverse gear, I was perplexed. For a moment, I felt that I could understand nothing. It was as if, the steering wheel was just being turned round and round, when he asked me to do the same, I just surrendered to the universe to guide me. Since, I didn’t know how to use it, I relied on the comments made by my teacher. “See where the car is going.” When I heard this, I knew that I had to steer towards the side opposite to where I had steered initially. Slowly and steadily I learned to take control of the steering wheel even while I reversed the car; but I needed more practice. I was not done with the challenges yet, so I took on another one. “So, now, I shall drive through the road. You have practised a lot.” said the teacher. “May I drive it on the rough terrain? I want to try it.” I said. The teacher became still for a while, then he agreed, he was glad to see me take on an adventure which he never expected me to. I changed the gear to the drive mode, accelerated and drove uphill, it was a narrow road, although the absence of a fencing intimidated me, I was sure that I would make it. I accelerated and turned the car smoothly on an uphill steep slope.
That day was a spectacular one, I felt brave for I did something that I never felt I was capable of doing. The driving lesson made me confident enough to steer through obstacles, through narrow roads and through tough terrains. My mom’s car by virtue of which, I learned to drive, was and will always remain a friend for me. My car is not just a big machine, she is more than that, she is beautiful. Her friendly eyes (which other people refer to as the headlights) and her big smile where she proudly bears the logo of the manufacturer always invite me to drive through the ups and downs of my life with her.
For us, it is easier to look forward to things, to goals, some achievable, and some, far fetched, it seems smooth. Even for the accomplishment of goals, we have to be patient yet consistent, just like the perfect balance of the brake and the accelerator of the car. But reflecting upon the past, upon the processes and the results that didn’t work as expected is difficult. Looking back does not need to be done at all times. But we must learn how to look back. Do we need to look back and regret? Do we need to look back and feel frightened for the future as well? Do we need to learn to steer through, backwards? We don’t need to look back and regret, the circumstances within and outside might not have been favourable but we navigated through them and that’s why, we are here. We don’t need to fear looking back, yes, we are scared of confronting our deep seated emotions, the grudges, the feelings of hurt and the fear of feeling hurt again but these factors should never stop us from introspecting. We should definitely learn to steer backwards, it may not be easy but it isn’t impossible. The teacher who shall guide us with all this, is the soul, it will not directly be seated with you through your journey, but it will believe in you while guiding you towards your inner self, your past, present and your greater future self.
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